The Onion shared "Desire To Ejaculate Motivates Local Christian To Wed"

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What's happening The Onion shared Local Desire To Ejaculate Motivates Local Christian To Wed PADUCAH, KY—Throughout his life, 22-year-old Matthew Leske has been a devout Christian, attending services three time... Read more at Twitter The Onion shared Local Seeing Eye Dog Really Blows Off Some Steam In Dog Park FORT COLLINS, CO—From the moment he was let loose in a local dog park Saturday, golden retriever and licensed Seeing ... Read more at Twitter The Onion shared The Onion Anti-Asian Hate Crimes Bill Signed Into Law President Biden signed legislation focused on aggressively investigating hate crimes, especially those targeting Asia... Read more at Twitter The Onion shared The Onion Brilliant New Animated Comedy Gives Viewers Clinical Depression LOS ANGELES—Hailed by critics from The New Yorker, Vulture, and Uproxx as a groundbreaking show pushing the boundarie... Read more at Twitter The Onion shared The Onion Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Ho... BELLEVUE, NE—Shortly after 8 a.m. Tuesday, Landon Matthew Crowley, a 7-pound, 14-ounce baby boy and the future warlor... Read more at Twitter Matthew Miller shared Washington Post Obama calls for review of rules on subpoenas to the media While emphasizing protecting national security, Obama says he doesn't want to "chill" reporting. Read more at Twitter Still have questions about Twitter?   Visit our Help Center to browse articles, search by keyword or topic, and learn all the Twitter lingo you'll need to become a pro.   Browse the Help Center Help  |  Privacy  |  Reset password  |  Download app We sent this email to @EileeceyLieuten. Unsubscribe Twitter, Inc. 1355 Market Street, Suite 900 San Francisco, CA 94103